The Purple Marble

I don't know why I am bothering to tell anyone about this experience. I guess part of me persists because I believe (somehow someway) in the validity of my perception. And then, part of me finds the whole thing as uncanny and spectacular, illogical and absurd, as anything I have ever heard. Anyway, so here it goes, . . .

I had just gotten back from traveling and I was moving into my new room. It was fairly small room in a friend of mine's apartment. And except for my mattress on the floor and my big blue knapsack, it was completely bare.

I ended up spending a lot of time thinking and reading, writing in my journal, and so forth. My roommate worked all day, so I'd end up sitting and staring out the window. Sometimes for hours. I'd listen to music, pet my roommate's soft furry cat, and daydream. Sometimes I'd suddenly panic about money. I'd start wondering what "I really want to do with my life." But other than those moments, I was feeling quite well.

So . . . I had been doing this for about two weeks, when one sunny afternoon, mid-day, I was staring out the window like normal, when all of a sudden, I spotted a purple marble floating outside the window. I was laying on the mattress, real relaxed, and this purple marble was sparking real bright.

I got up and walked towards the window. For a long moment I stood and stared at the purple marble. I looked for any strings that could be holding it in the air. I must have watched it for about three minutes, to see if moved or anything, before I leaned forward in order to touch it. I leaned and leaned out the window, until I was afraid of falling out. Below was an empty and quiet street. But the purple marble was out my reach.

I grabbed a large hard cover book of my roommate's. I went back to the window, leaned forward again, and started waving the book in the direction of the purple marble. It gracefully floated farther away from me, traveling with each gust of wind my waving caused. And when I stopped my waving, a moment or so later it settled back in it's particular place.

I am not sure how long exactly it took me to realize that I was experiencing a miracle. There it was, before my eyes. A purple marble floating. I stood staring at it, unsure of what to do. What to do? What to do? What to do? I guess no one ever feels prepared for these type of experiences.

I decided to call my friend Rita. At one point she was into reading books about UFO's and I thought maybe she'd have heard something about this situation. While I was dialing, it flashed through my head that the purple marble could be a camera lens from a spaceship. But then that felt too paranoid. All I got was her answering machine anyway. I left a message that she should call me.

I knew my roommate would be home in a few hours, but that seemed quite awhile aways. Obviously, I didn't know how long this special moment was going to last. My mind started racing and I wasn't sure what to do first. Take a photo? Call the newspapers? The networks? I felt unprepared to handle the whole thing on my own and I wanted to share this craziness with someone.

I started calling more of my friends. No one was home mid-day. I got more answering machines and a few disconnected lines of friends who must've moved away while I was traveling.

I had a few pictures left on the roll of my camera. I figured the least I could do was take some pictures. But while walking towards the window, I realized that pictures no longer document anything. Between scanners and computers and trick photography, it was possible to simulate anything. I finished off the roll anyway and put the camera away.

I sat for awhile, until I realized I'd been clenching my palm so tight that I had began to make it bleed. So I got up and started pacing about, trying to figure out what to do next. And every other second, I'd compulsively glance out the window to make sure the purple marble hadn't gone anywhere. And it hadn't. There it was.

I decided to leave the apartment and began to roam down our hall in the building. Because I had recently arrived, I didn't know anyone in the other apartments. Even after a few years, I remembered my roommate didn't know anyone either. I guess a lot of people don't know their neighbors. But at this moment I was hoping I'd run into someone, a kind sort, and I could explain this marble situation to them. Maybe they could help me figure out what to do next.

I walked up and down several flights of stairs and down different halls. I didn't see anyone but this older man. He was leaving the building in a big hurry and was carrying a briefcase. I just stood and watched him scurry out.

Then I quickly followed him outside. I began wondering why he was in such a hurry. Was it related in anyway to the purple marble? I watched him get into his car and then drive off. I stood outside the apartment on the sidewalk and realized that I was being overly suspicious. The sun seemed too bright. I felt strained standing.

I returned back to the apartment and checked on the purple marble. It was still shining brightly. Once again, I picked up that big book, leaned out the window, and waved at it. Once again, it drifted effortlessly and gracefully away, and then returned to it's proper place.

I checked my answering machine and no one had called back. I remember feeling a bit dizzy, I guess from being excited for so long. I decided to lay down on my mattress for a bit.

I woke up to the sound of my roommate taking out some pans in the kitchen. In a semi-panic, I remembered the purple marble and I sprang up to see if it was still there. And it was. The sun had gone down so it wasn't gleaming quite so brightly. But it was there. Right outside my window.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed my roommate. I started explaining, but I guess I was so wild and excited that he couldn't make out exactly what I was talking about. I dragged him to the window and showed him the purple marble that was still suspended in air, outside an arm's reach. My roommate stared at it and then smiled. He said, "Wow, that's really neat! I'm sorry though, you've got to excuse me now. I am so hungry."

My roommate went back to the kitchen and l laid down on my mattress. I drifted off to sleep again, and I didn't bother to pick up the phone when two of my friends returned my calls.

In the morning, the purple marble was gone. And this is the first time I have bothered telling anyone about it since. I am not sure what a miracle means anymore, or how it is supposed to trigger living my life differently. --Marjorie Sturm, December 15,1999

(song lyrics used for Improvisations on The Purple Marble Ernesto Diaz-Infante/Mark Flake Wood Records CD wd67 listen to mp3

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